whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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