If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize