Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
