let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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