I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
