There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
