I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
