So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
