Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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