She is in my trunk
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
