He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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