there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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