don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm too high and old for this...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
