Pappa wants mamma naked
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize