I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
