well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
this just has baby written all over it
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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