if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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