therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
