The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
