i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
