This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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