youre lurking in front of me
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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