Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
