just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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