and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
