So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
