so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
