Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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