Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
