Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
