why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
handjob tips. give me some.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
