my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
