forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
