if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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