you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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