There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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