i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
