I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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