did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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