ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
