I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
