FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
