As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize