Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize