The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
my being single is dangerous.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
