I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
