I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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