Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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