One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
