I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Randomize
