Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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