Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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