Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
