Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
