just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize