going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
