Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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