I heard we made out
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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