Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
